Marriage is like a violin. After the music is over, you still have the strings.

Marriage is like a violin. After the music is over, you still have the strings.

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.

Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.

Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.

When a man gets up to speak, people listen, then look. When a woman gets up, people look; then, if read more

When a man gets up to speak, people listen, then look. When a woman gets up, people look; then, if they like what they see, they listen.

If I were a girl, I'd despair. The supply of good women far exceeds that of the men who deserve read more

If I were a girl, I'd despair. The supply of good women far exceeds that of the men who deserve them.

Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do and I gave the commonsensical reply that read more

Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do and I gave the commonsensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true but incomplete answer. In fact, women's total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage.

To marry is to halve your rights and double your duties.

To marry is to halve your rights and double your duties.

If ever two were one, then surely we. If ever man were loved by wife, then thee.

If ever two were one, then surely we. If ever man were loved by wife, then thee.

Every theory of love, from Plato down teaches that each individual loves in the other sex what he lacks in read more

Every theory of love, from Plato down teaches that each individual loves in the other sex what he lacks in himself.