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Maxioms by Woody Allen

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Not only is there no God, but trying getting a plumber on weekends.

Not only is there no God, but trying getting a plumber on weekends.

by Woody Allen Found in: Society Quotes,
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If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: read more

If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children".

by Woody Allen Found in: Advice Quotes,
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Capital punishment would be more effective as a preventive measure if it were administered prior to the crime.

Capital punishment would be more effective as a preventive measure if it were administered prior to the crime.

by Woody Allen Found in: Melancholy Quotes,
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If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss read more

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.

by Woody Allen Found in: Negativity Quotes,
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I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.

by Woody Allen Found in: Teachers Quotes,
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