Sex appeal is fifty percent what you've got and fifty percent what people think you've got.

Sex appeal is fifty percent what you've got and fifty percent what people think you've got.

Sex is like art. Most of it is pretty bad, and the good stuff is out of your price range.

Sex is like art. Most of it is pretty bad, and the good stuff is out of your price range.

Sex is nature's way of saying 'Hi!'

Sex is nature's way of saying 'Hi!'

Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants

Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants

Don't bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add.

Don't bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add.

What's the three words you never want to hear while making love? Honey, I'm home.

What's the three words you never want to hear while making love? Honey, I'm home.

My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.

My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.

I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead.

I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead.

Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions

Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions