What's the three words you never want to hear while making love? Honey, I'm home.

What's the three words you never want to hear while making love? Honey, I'm home.

Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.

Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.

Sex with love is the greatest thing in life. But sex without love - that's not so bad either.

Sex with love is the greatest thing in life. But sex without love - that's not so bad either.

Sex is a momentary itch, love never lets you go

Sex is a momentary itch, love never lets you go

There's nothing better than good sex. But bad sex? A peanut butter and jelly sandwich is better than bad sex.

There's nothing better than good sex. But bad sex? A peanut butter and jelly sandwich is better than bad sex.

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.

Sex is like art. Most of it is pretty bad, and the good stuff is out of your price range.

Sex is like art. Most of it is pretty bad, and the good stuff is out of your price range.

Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants

Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants

Laughter and orgasm are great bedfellows

Laughter and orgasm are great bedfellows