George Carlin

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can read more

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down.

The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set read more

The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done."

Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.

Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.

Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told not to fuck

Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told not to fuck

Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of rain.

Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of rain.