Maxioms Pet

X
  •   20  /  25  

    See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.

Share to:

You May Also Like   /   View all maxioms

  ( comments )
  22  /  17  

My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said 'No, but I want a regular banana later, read more

My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said 'No, but I want a regular banana later, so... yeah.'

by Mitch Hedberg Found in: Comedy Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  31  /  30  

What do you mean, funny? Funny-peculiar or funny ha-ha?

What do you mean, funny? Funny-peculiar or funny ha-ha?

by Found in: Comedy Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  26  /  23  

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one suffers from not loving. Therefore, read more

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be happy, one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness.

  ( comments )
  10  /  17  

Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the kids should be given homework

Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the kids should be given homework

by Bill Cosby Found in: Children Quotes, Comedy Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  24  /  30  

I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?'

I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?'

  ( comments )
  25  /  26  

Breaking records is not something you expect to be doing. That's like a sports thing, it's not usually a comedy read more

Breaking records is not something you expect to be doing. That's like a sports thing, it's not usually a comedy and writing thing.

by Louis C. K. Found in: Comedy Quotes,
Share to:
  ( comments )
  15  /  20  

Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite all the progress that has read more

Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite all the progress that has been made in the last 30 years, many foreign people still speak in foreign languages

  ( comments )
  31  /  26  

Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.

Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.

  ( comments )
  17  /  15  

The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.

The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.

by James Thurber Found in: Comedy Quotes,
Share to:
Maxioms Web Pet