Funny Quotes

I'm here and I'm ready. They're not. Bring it.

I'm here and I'm ready. They're not. Bring it.

When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.

When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.

I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.

I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.

Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck more

Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down.

I can whistle with my fingers, especially if I have a whistle.

I can whistle with my fingers, especially if I have a whistle.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.

Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them more

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

The bikini is the most important thing since the atom bomb.

The bikini is the most important thing since the atom bomb.